Summer has Arrived

We just survived three days of approximately 30 degrees feeling like 35-40 degrees with the humidity. Summer has definitely arrived.

Summer has arrived in a number of other ways too! First, we've moved from our apartment into a lovely old house. It's great to have more space and have a larger family who eat together. We're still navigating around communal financing, chore dividing and other logistics but so far everything is running well.

Secondly, I am no longer unemployed and without a job. I was offered a job (pending reference checks)! I'll be spending July and August with number of groups of youth as an art counsellor. I'm super excited! It will be challenging but it will also help me expand my experience in the social service sector.

Thirdly, although not really as important, Jeremy and I purchased a bed from Ikea so we are no longer sleeping on a mattress on the floor.

Fourthly, I've been volunteering with a theatre group as a quintet member for their production of Jane Austen's Emma. The week before last was ridiculously busy but this weekend is our last set of shows. It has been nice to play some cello but my body continues to struggle through this recovery. Next week I hope to schedule an appointment with a Sports Medicine Doctor to get a proper diagnosis and to come up with a recovery plan.

Today is not as hot as yesterday so I should probably get out and mow the lawn. As the only person currently unemployed in the house, I feel a duty to get some of these things done.

Cheers!

Is Summer Coming?

Being unemployed is not pleasant. The unpleasantness does not necessarily stem from the lack of financial stability that being unemployed presents. The greatest unpleasantness is being alone with my thoughts. I understand now how unemployment can easily lead to episodes of depression and subsequently a lack of desire to do anything about it. Applying for jobs can be emotionally taxing because you're constantly evaluating your hire-ability and assessing what are your 'selling' qualities. It's very uncomfortable spending so much time in introspection, especially since society moves too fast and this aspect of humanity is often overlooked. I feel like I need to occupy myself with sound and information and people.

Yet unemployment blues have been interrupted for a short time. We moved on Sunday from our apartment into a house with Jeremy's cousins. So the weekend was full of busy moving things here from there. It is a lovely house with lots of space. And while things are much more communal than in an apartment setting there are certainly enough spaces to 'hide' when one needs a break from the others. There were a few 'casualties' in the move: our couch of four months has some small tears, and holes and our box spring didn't make it up the stairs to our bedroom. But these things are just things and I am grateful we have a roof over our head that is costing us less than our last place.

There will be pictures posted shortly with more about this new adventure. Missing Manitoba often and hoping to visit again soon.

A Nightmare Realized

Bright and early this morning I had my final examination of the term: performance jury. This is a time to shine and show off what has been developing musically throughout the term. 

My jury repertoire: Brahms Sonata in E minor, mvts. 1 and 2; Bach Suite in C M, prelude and bourree; Popper Etude #6. 

The week hadn't started as a very good body week. It was being uncooperative, achy and tense. This of course made me nervous but I knew it was too late for a deferral and things were not so bad that I couldn't play. As they say, the show must go on. And it did, with a little help from a refreshing yoga session on Wednesday night. 

8:20. Going first is always nerve-wracking. I arrived at school early enough to run through some difficult sections in my pieces and to make sure my memory work was paying off. 

9:00. The panel had arrived: my teacher, the cello department head and a violin instructor. And not to forget my wonderful accompanist.

Brahms. These movements went along lovely, I feel like I controlled the peak quite well and saved my (almost) best for today. 

Bach. The prelude started out wonderfully. I felt like I was actually expressing what I intended and that is a great feeling. At the top of the second page I knew there was trouble developing. My bow hand was getting tired and the hardest part was yet to come. Try as I might I could not get myself to relax enough to circumvent the inevitable. 

I'm assuming that every string musician's nightmare is dropping their bow in performance. In practice I hadn't dropped my bow for a couple weeks, but that was usually because I stopped playing to stretch before that could happen. 

It's a little surreal when the thing you're afraid of happening actually does and you have to cope with it. I did lose complete control of my bow, but I managed to keep my cool, pause and continue to the end of the prelude. All my right arm strength was gone and as a result the grand ending was not so grand.

When wearing your heart on your sleeve, composure is tough to maintain. 

I'm not sure what I expected them to say, but certainly my teacher was impressed that I made it to the end. I couldn't keep myself from crying, I think my confidence was pretty much shot at that point. With today being the culmination of what has been developing over the year, it seems appropriate that even my physical difficulties would show their face.  The panel didn't ask me to play more, and I wasn't sure I could.

Hugs always make the world feel like a better place and days a little brighter. The hugs from my teachers confirmed what I already (and always) knew: It's not the end of the world. 

On the whole it wasn't a bad experience. I can say that in the future I won't cry if I lose control of my bow in performance; I've done it now and it's not so bad. I feel really good about what I could play and I feel sad that I couldn't play more. As odd as it sounds, I don't feel finished at all. Not even a sense of relief that it's over. I just want to keep playing and studying music. 

The day you discover the thing that you love to work on doing will probably be the best day of your life. 

The End of the School Year is Near Again...

... and what a year it has been!

I am currently procrastinating from studying for my Music History exam to write this post. It has been a while, a testament to the busy and challenging past months. When I last posted we had just purchased a cello and it was reading week. How long ago that feels already! 

My history paper did get written, although it was right down to the wire with that one. 20 hours of work (research & writing) for a B+ paper.

Laurier's production of Mozart's Magic Flute was a huge success, and for the most part an enjoyable performing experience (in the orchestra). That being said, I have acquired some repetitive stress injuries and tendonitis so there have been many days of pain and discomfort, tears and frustration.

On the whole this term has been an incredible learning experience, not so much in an academic sense but more in a spiritual, bodily, getting-to-know-yourself kind of way. I have discovered that I do sincerely and whole-heartly love playing the cello and that the problems that impede this desire frustrate me to no end. The physical hurdles I am continually having to conquer are simply the catalyst for important changes in my lifestyle as a musician. In addition being away from family and friends, and a tangible support network has been spiritually and emotionally challenging. We really appreciate the prayers we know you are sending our way.

Things have changed rapidly in Jeremy's life too. He had been working in Hamilton since October at a job that frustrated and stressed him out. He was underpaid and poorly managed. It seemed that his applications to other companies were constantly overlooked and so Jeremy decided he would apply to graduate studies at the University of Waterloo. Jeremy quit his job in Hamilton and a week ago started working at a lovely local greenhouse to fill the summer months. This means longer work hours, but he's much closer to home and not in a stuffy office all day.

While going back to school means a pay-cut and even less financially stable times for us in the next few years, it mostly means a happier Jeremy, no hour+ long commute, the potential for a better career and actually not that much of a pay-cut. Last Friday, Jeremy was extended an offer to join Dr. Baugh's research group at the Institute for Quantum Computing. Unfortunately this is not yet an area that Jeremy can explain at any sort of simplified level (because he's still unsure exactly what it all means) but it has to do with information - how it's processed, shared and encoded.

The future is exciting, even with it's challenges (and the ones we don't know yet). We're moving into a house with Jeremy's cousins and their two-year-old in May but that is another adventure for another day.

Reading Week Blues

One exam to go.

Then a week of history paper writing and cello practicing.

I am really homesick these days, probably because most of my friends will be spending reading week with their families.

I am looking forward to thoroughly cleaning the apartment and to catching up on reading books that aren't for school.

(The blue evening sky from the woods on the Hanan Farm.)

A New Chapter Begins

God is good! The cello purchasing journey took less time than it could have!

What has been a relatively stressful three weeks has ended, with a 'new' cello and a bank loan. The Sound Post in Toronto had a small but decent collection of instruments in my price range (a price range that dropped significantly from my original bracket) and I fell in love with one particular cello on my first visit. I left it for a week to ponder how we were going to move forward with a purchase of this size.

I went to Toronto again on the January 28th after a bit of an ordeal with the Greyhound bus. I tried and re-tried cellos at The Sound Post but still loved the one. So, I brought it home and played it for a week. Unfortunately, I got sick with a head cold (probably brought on by stress/ the cold from waiting for the Greyhound). Then Laurier called a snow day on a lesson day (because we were supposed to get 30cm of snow, but we didn't). It started to seem like I wouldn't get a second, third or fourth opinion on the instrument before I had to bring it back. Luckily, my teacher was able to carve a little time out of his afternoon to take a look at it and he happily approved. Some of my fellow cellists were able to weigh in on the instrument as well.

I had been sold on the instrument when we were in the store, and even more so with the price. Cellos aren't cheap, especially when they're for serious students. This cello was so very reasonably priced for what was included - cello, bow (x2), case and a few accessories - that I would have been sad to give it up if it wasn't good enough.

There was further holding of breathe in regards to financing the instrument but that came through thanks to family and - mostly - to the bank.

Without further ado... the cello. (These pictures are not the best. Better ones to come.)

Friday to Friday (aka the End of an Era)

What a week!

I will begin with the disappointments and work my way up to the good stuff.

Last week I realized that my cello's bridge was warped. My prof looked at the bridge and moved it back into it's proper place. Unfortunately the strings are now too low for playing. The problem can be fixed but it is a matter of whether it is worth it in the long run. It was a tough Friday because I finally had to come to terms with my need of a new cello. I borrowed a beautiful 240 year old cello from my prof for a few days but it didn't have an end pin, so it was difficult (but not impossible) to practice. Luckily, one of my friends, who is a vocalist, also plays cello and lent me her cello (she doesn't have time to practice it). Needless to say last weekend was pretty stressful.

In the good news department, we purchased a new couch and it was delivered on Saturday! It's lovely and comfortable. Further in this department, the good news about the bad news is that we are starting a search for a new instrument. We are going into Toronto tomorrow to do some preliminary searching. And while there are huge questions about where the money for such purchase will come from, it is still very exciting.

We will keep you posted about our search for a new cello as things develop.